If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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