I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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