She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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