I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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