if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
