This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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