Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants