You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP