I love black thongs
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.