Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
