M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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