you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
