Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
