The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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