It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he shaved USA in his pubs
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize