Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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