Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
