Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My ass is underappreciated
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
