Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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