Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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