before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
