Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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