Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
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He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
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I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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