God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
