I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
