Fine. I'll sleep in my office
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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