Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
