she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I party with great urgency now.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
