Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
