I can tuck mytits in my pants
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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