Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
wow bdsm is so cute
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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