i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
only if we run a train.
done.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
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On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
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Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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