you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
