At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
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