actually, I'm a sock model
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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