Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
