my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
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I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
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Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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