Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
