just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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