Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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