Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
