I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I can text with my tongue
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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