nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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