Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
