ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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