"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
time to smoke my breakfast
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
