Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
