I think im going to throw up on grandma
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
