yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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