i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Houston, we have a blender
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
