sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
