I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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