So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
