Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
