But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What drink are we having for lunch?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk