Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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