4 words: hood of his car
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize