it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
