I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
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They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
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but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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