actually, I'm a sock model
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
