I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
