My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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